Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
