if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
