i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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