i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
