Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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