she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
