i'm signing you up for texting rehab
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
