champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
