I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
