I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
