It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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