his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
