What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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