i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
