remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
A+ Viking dick
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
