I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
