Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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