hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
