I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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