go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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