i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
