I don't think brook has ever known best
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
