We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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