can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
