Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
