R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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