I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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