she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
