Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
