Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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