i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
