I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
