how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
