dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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