I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
