She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you made out with another girl for some wings
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
