This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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