sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
