Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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