Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
