Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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