I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
