if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
