Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
