Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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