When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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