Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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