doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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