my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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