I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
