Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
